I did one of the scariest things I can think of last week. I phoned the tax office. Twice.
Obviously, this is nowhere near the scariest thing in the world. But for me this is terrifying. I get very anxious about phone calls and this was a really bad challenge. I had had a panic attack the day before simply thinking about the phone call, so the fact that I managed to phone multiple times was a big achievement for me. I was shaking and anxious the entire time but I didn’t have any panic attacks on the phone, and the sense of relief I felt afterwards was almost overwhelming.
What this experience showed me was how far I’ve come. A year ago I probably would have struggled through that call with someone helping me, and I would definitely have had a panic attack on the phone. Alternatively, I may have just left it and let my anxiety grow. I’ve realised that although I still have really severe mood swings, the stability in my life is allowing my mental health to improve, and I’ve actually been okay for a long time.
Sometimes life is about recognising and celebrating small victories, and for me, this was definitely one.